I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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