I think I died a long time ago.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
