This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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