True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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