This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
