Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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