Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
