My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
