no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
