well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm like, not good at living.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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