we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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