we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
