you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
