somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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