I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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