I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
