Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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