Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
