If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
