i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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