Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
