it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
