So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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