I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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