i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
