He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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