guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
