when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
