she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
