he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
