I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You are a genius and a whore.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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