There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize