I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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