i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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