Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The best revenge is premature balding
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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