the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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