I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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