No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
where are my eyebrows?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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