.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
