When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
