At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I am spending my child support on dildos
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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