Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize