Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
