hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
