i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
