carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
