He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
