help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
