i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
