the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
