He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the day after is always just damage control
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize