therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I look better un-naked...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
