His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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