So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My pussy is not your playground.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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