Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
