I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
