Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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