So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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