Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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