I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Randomize
