Three words: puerto rican gang bang
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
