There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
