He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
