I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
